Imprinting

It has been a week for imprinting at the Merritt Home. Who knows what nursing class I remember that psychology jargon from. There are moments- real moments in time when I let myself slow down enough to think to myself, "Will this be one of those times?" One of those moments when my kids look back and have a vivid memories. Be it good or bad. We all have them. Those crazy snippets of a changed reality that we call: Our Childhood.

It would be nice if we could see what they are thinking- what they'll remember, and maybe to re-live it and sometimes DO IT OVER so I can do it right this time. But life doesn't work that way. I have journals for the kids. Nice, sturdy, keepsake journals but by the time I get them out they're stacked by the junk mail or the Halloween Decoration tubs that are STILL sitting in the dining room after a week. And, well, it just doesn't seem to happen. So, for posterity- here's the gist of my thoughts on my most precious gifts. Our boys.

Benjamin is asleep on the couch. In a feverish semi-coma (down to 102's from 103.6) with Honey-Bunny his first and only baby stuffed animal tucked under his shoulder and The Velveteen Rabbit under his head. Which he let me read to him. The whole thing while he stares at me and I stroke his hotter than hot head. And the book is on top of his homework folder of grammar corrections and Proper Nouns and story problems about how many tuba players are in the band if... and it has a large proudly scrawled cursive "B-e-n" across the top. He's growing up. But still my baby. And I love it.

And William and I went to the Pumpkin Patch. And it was cool that I was the driver for his friends and his teacher and he looked at the gourds and found a "spaceship" and can't wait to pop the popcorn kernels he picked and wonders if the popcorn will really be red like the kernels and "How long until Thanksgiving when it will be all dry enough?" And his teacher tells me about Will's uncanny sense of spirituality and how some kids just 'Get it.' Which William does as he explained to his friends yesterday in circle about 'H' is for heaven and we went to mass for our lost Baby Rose yesterday morning who is an angel in Heaven and you don't have to be old to go there, but it's a place that's just like Home with an 'H' for those who need a place to watch down and Help us-- Will your wisdom inspires.

And Tyler who takes 5 steps and looks up to see if you noticed and in so doing plops to the floor. And claps his hands when we clap and does the coy smile to strangers with the side-shoulder-bury into my side. Talk about heaven. The "mama" and "dada" on cue. And I wonder- is it there for him? That moment- the joy of "look at me all by myself" imprint.